Soaking up Dublin

Literally. It's been so rainy here!

But that's not what I'm talking about in this post. In the remaining month we have left here we want to really enjoy the city and make an effort to take in the details we often take for granted. Today, friends, Simon, Liz and baby Ellen joined us for a walk down the Grand Canal that runs through Ballsbridge - we were even fortunate to catch the little bit of sunshine that appeared! Liz took the following photos of myself and Liam. Thanks, Liz!

A Book I Can't Get Out of my Mind

I read Room ages ago. Like, between six months and a year ago (And I'm always reading, it's part of my bed-time routine. Ha!). And I still think about it all the time. When I picked it up from the shelf at Hodges Figgus I thought "Hmm... how is a book written in the voice of a 5 year old going to work?" I was a little skeptical, but intrigued at the concept of a mother and son living in a small room with no windows or access to the outside world. "WHY?" I thought. I had to read it just to find out. And I'll admit that when I started reading it, I assumed the mother was just a social weirdo inflicting her fears of the world upon her young son. What makes the book fascinating to me is that Emma Donoghue not only writes successfully from the point of view of a young boy, but one who has no knowledge of anything outside the four walls in which he lives. Another quality that made the book five stars in my eyes was that she goes beyond where she could have easily ended the story. For once I was actually satisfied with the ending of a book (though I still miss the characters, I always do. I feel like they are like old friends by the time I'm done with books I love). I'll probably be reading it again soon.  Go read it if you have not done so already! And if you have, what were your thoughts?

Currently about half-way though The Slap, by Christos Tsiolkas. I'll let you know what I thought of it when I'm finished.

Back to Work Woes

The Big Move is eminent. And with moving back to Michigan comes my return to the workforce. I brushed up the ol' resume and started applying (and now interviewing) for jobs. I think as any mother who is getting ready to go back to work after a baby would say, I'm a bit lot anxious. I constantly have back and forth conversations in my head about the pros and cons.

The biggest and most obvious factor is that I am going to miss Liam, and I am so afraid that he will miss me and be mad at me for going away. The other worry is that I will be jealous of whoever is spending more time with him. Yet another is that they won't do things the way I do. Will I be absolutely exhausted by the time I get home? Will an hour and a half of "quality time" before he goes to bed be enough? How do I combat these feelings? One thing that might help is writing down all of Liam's favorite things - everything from food, to songs. Any other suggestions? How do I get rid of this pit in my stomach?

Thankfully it will be Justin, my mother-in-law (and possibly my mom if they move to the area) and later on day-care two days a week watching Liam, so I know he will be in good, loving hands. Also, I am looking forward to having adult conversation and feeling productive (in the "job" sense). Another aspect of going to work that gets me excited.... work clothes! I've already been scouring my favorite work wear stores online and it always cheers me up.

Here are a few options I pinned on Pinterest:

Image from Polyvore.com

Image from jcrew.com

Trying to think happy thoughts, and look on the bright side. So many women do this! I can too.

I'm So Money

Liam is at the age where his vocabulary is starting to explode. He says yeah (not yes!) and no. Says "bubbles" for anything water related, calls Justin "Dada" and me, yep, you guessed it, "Money." I keep correcting him, but maybe I should let him keep calling me that! I mean, I am pretty money.

"Mom, you're so money and you don't even know it."

In case you're not hip with the lingo, here is the definition from Urban Dictionary: 

You're so money: 

You're so awesome; You're so fantastic; You're so cool; You're so likable; Used to great effect in the 1996 movie Swingers by Vince Vaughn (Trent) and Patrick Van Horn (Sue).

Eyelashes

Aren't they to die for?!

Liam's Birth Day

I've been meaning to write this post for over a year. If I don't do it now I'm sure I'll forget many of the little details of Liam's birth (I'm sure I already have forgotten some!) Before I start I'll warn you, if you get squeamish or don't like TMI, you should be on your merry way! Childbirth is not for the faint of heart.

40 weeks pregnant and much to my dismay, no baby yet. Silly Meg, 

don't you know most 1st babies are overdue?!

At my 40 week (and a few days) appointment I had my doctor do a membrane sweep (or strip if you're in the US). I was so miserable! We don't have a car in Dublin because we live in the city which meant I was still walking everywhere. Liam had dropped quite low so it was so uncomfortable to walk anywhere! Contractions had also been coming and going for a little over a week. Doc decided that we could induce if I wanted to at 41 weeks. Let me just say that I am very much against induction unless the baby is in distress or the mother is in danger, but I was at my wit's end and sincerely felt like this baby was ready to be born, so I agreed that if baby didn't come on his own by April 22, I would come into the hospital for induction.

The days went by slowly and my friends Kara, Liz and Kim kept me in good spirits. April 22nd arrived and we prepared ourselves to go to the hospital to meet our son. I had talked to my sister about being anxious about forcing Liam to come out. She comforted me by saying, "Meg, Liam will be much more comforable in your arms." I'll always remember that.

Justin and I took the 77 Dublin bus to the hospital, which felt hilarious, what with all of our baby gear in tow. We arrived on time and checked in. Inductions are performed in the public ward (though we have insurance to cover a private room) so I made myself comfortable in the company of women who were there for various reasons, mostly due to either pre eclampsia or other serious pregnancy issues). I was the only one being induced. They said it would be a while before Doc was in so we took a walk around the hospital grounds (it was a lovely day!). Doc applied Cervadil at 8 pm which is meant to help with dilation. I was so glad they were starting out gently and not full on with Pitocin - I know the stats relating to Pitocin and the vicious cycle of intervention. Doc said that it will likely take many hours for the medicine to work and he would be back in the morning to check on me and apply the gel again if need be. In my head I thought "Um, Doc, I plan on having this baby tonight." The nurse informed us that Justin was going to have to go home after visiting hours (7pm), which shocked us, and in hind sight we should fought to let him stay. But Justin went home and left me with my relaxing i-pod playlist and a few magazines and I waited for things to start happening.

It didn't take long for things to get moving. I started having regular contractions within a couple of hours, which I could tell shocked the nurses. I was focusing on breathing and staying relaxed to get through the pain. I called my mom to chat at about 10:30pm (it was 5:30pm in Michigan). And while we were talking my water broke! I got off the phone and called one of the nurses over - everything was drenched! The nurse checked me after that and I think I was about a 3.  The nurse told me they would wait a little while longer to call Justin. Labor got really intense after that and I was in a lot of pain. I called the nurse again to check me. She looked surprised to see that I was already between a 5-6 and at that point they called Justin. It must have been about midnight by then. We made our way to the birthing room at that point and after that time seemed to fly. I reached a point where I felt like I couldn't handle any more pain and asked for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was American from New York, I think. While it was being administered I had a very hard time keeping still and voiced that I felt like I had to push. Everyone in the room looked a little surprised by this (by now Justin was finally there along with my Doc). I was checked afterward and already an 8 very shortly after that it really was time to push. I pushed exactly like Doc said, with Justin holding one leg and a nursing student (her first birth experience!) holding the other. After 15 minutes of pushing and a proclamation of "oh God, that's the ring of fire!" from me, Liam was here, it was 3:25am.  I don't think the epi kicked in in time after all, I felt everything. And though it was painful, I think the labor part was more so.

Sweet baby boy Liam, 8lbs 3oz, 21 in long

Comfortable in my arms

"Hi, Mom & Dad!"

Looking up to Daddy already

Right after Liam was born they put him on my chest and I stared at him in awe. I couldn't believe what was once a part of me was now separate. I remember him letting out a little whimper and thinking, "What's the matter baby? What do you want?" It was overwhelming to think that his existence relied solely on me. 

He was put in the incubator to warm up after some time with mommy and I was offered tea and toast. I thought, "How fabulous!" How very Irish to get tea and toast after birthing a child. It is one of my fondest memories of the experience.

In the next couple of weeks I'll write about our stay in the hospital and how is was the loneliest I've ever felt.  

Laughing

This proverb (31:25) has been running through my mind since I heard it. I'm trying so hard to have faith that things will work out just as they are meant to, with a lot of hard work on our part, of course.